When you tell an extrovert to “stop talking,” you are literally telling her to shut down a significant and important part of the way that she processes her thoughts and the information around her because you don’t want to deal with (from your point of view) extraneous sound.
1) Extroverts listen. When you’re talking, we’re not just fantasizing about getting back to doing whatever we were doing - we genuinely value people’s thoughts and ideas, which is why it’s so hurtful when people talk about us as if we’re self-centered.
2) Extroverts do not take energy from social interactions - we enjoy them, but even enjoyable activities have a cost and eventually you do run out. It’s a difference of personality, not a difference between exothermic and endothermic chemical reactions.
3) Following the above, extroverts also need space and quiet. The social butterfly you see at the party tonight might need to spend part of tomorrow morning wrapped up with a cup of coffee and a good book before she’s ready to take on the world again.
4) Small talk is a method of social interaction to avoid intimidating people. We have areas of interest - often many - where our depth of knowledge would frighten away most casual conversational partners. Therefore we tend to train ourselves to start conversations on light and non-intellectual subjects to gauge people’s interests and motivations before diving into the heavy stuff.
5) As indicated, extroverts tend to be remarkably perceptive. Dismiss us as intellectual lightweights and we’ll never stick around long enough for you to recognize your mistake. Doubly so for extroverted women - we’re so used to blowing off jerks who think of us as brainless arm candy that in half an hour we won’t even remember you exist.
6) We’re not tools. Treat us as such and you’ll be left in the box.
7) Everyone has their own style and their own personality, and deserve to be appreciated for who they are, not for who you wish they were.
Seven things extroverts should know about their introverted friends:
1) We don’t need alone time because we don’t like you. We need alone time because we need alone time. Don’t take it personally.
2) We aren’t judging anyone when we sit quietly. We’re just sitting quietly, probably enjoying watching extroverts in action.
3) If we say we’re having fun, we’re having fun, even though it might not look that way to you.
4) If we leave early, it’s not because we’re party poopers. We’re just pooped. Socializing takes a lot out of us.
5) If you want to hear what we have to say, give us time to say it. We don’t fight to be heard over other people. We just clam up.
6) We’re not lonely, we’re choosy. And we’re loyal to friends who don’t try to make us over into extroverts.
7) Anything but the telephone.
Seven things introverts should know about their extroverted friends:
1) Extroverts don’t understand introversion unless someone explains it.
2) Extroverts who try to get you to loosen up usually aren’t doing it to annoy you. They mean well.
3) Extroverts produce a lot of words but quantity does not preclude quality. There’s often plenty of good stuff in there for those with the patience to listen.
4) Extroverts can teach us plenty about glad-handing and small talking. These are useful skills, whether or not you enjoy them.
5) Extroverts can’t read your mind and they’re not big on catching hints. Say what you want.
6) At parties, think of extroverted friends as a glider tow plane. They pull you in and get you started, but eventually you have to sail on your own.
7) Extroverts come in all different styles, just like introverts. Keep a lookout for extroverts with a quiet side, who make dandy friends.
1) Extroverts listen. When you’re talking, we’re not just fantasizing about getting back to doing whatever we were doing - we genuinely value people’s thoughts and ideas, which is why it’s so damn hurtful when people talk about us as if we’re self-centered.
2) Extroverts do not take energy from social interactions - we enjoy them, but even enjoyable activities have a cost and eventually you do run out. It’s a difference of personality, not a difference between exothermic and endothermic chemical reactions.
3) Following the above, extroverts also need space and quiet. The social butterfly you see at the party tonight might need to spend tomorrow morning wrapped up with a cup of coffee and a good book before she’s ready to take on the world again.
4) Small talk is a method of social interaction to avoid intimidating people. We have areas of interest - often many - where our depth of knowledge would frighten away most casual conversational partners. Therefore we tend to train ourselves to start conversations on light and non-intellectual subjects to gauge people’s interests and motivations before diving into the heavy stuff.
5) As indicated, extroverts tend to be remarkably perceptive. Dismiss us as intellectual lightweights and we’ll never stick around long enough for you to recognize your mistake. Doubly so for extroverted women - we’re so used to blowing off jerks who think of us as brainless arm candy that in half an hour we won’t even remember you exist.
6) We’re not tools. Treat us as such and you’ll be left in the box.
7) Everyone has their own style and their own personality, and deserve to be appreciated for who they are, not for who you wish they were.
It can be both created and destroyed
Spend time with people who won’t interact with you = find yourself reduced to an emotionally exhausted wreck.
i was checking the extrovert tag for some reason and it is chock full of introverts acting like complete douchefucks. every other post is full of ignorant as shit assumptions, mostly centered around the idea that anyone who enjoys the company of others more than being alone is a knuckle-dragging asshole. one post literally said that introverts are OPPRESSED BY EXTROVERTS. what the flying fuck.
Also, posts claiming that extroverts are energy vampires. FML.
…[A]n extrovert gains energy from being around people, while an introvert expends energy from being around people.”
“To get people to understand, I explain it like my energy (and ability to deal with people) is like a cell phone battery. It must be recharged once in a while and major events require more battery use.
Two people on Reddit. (via themusicalmathematician)
This is really a massive oversimplification and I think that it encourages a victim mentality.
Seven things extroverts should know about theirintroverted friends:1) We don’t need alone time because we don’t like you. We need alone time because we need alone time. Don’t take it personally.
2) We aren’t judging anyone when we sit quietly. We’re just sitting quietly, probably enjoying watching extroverts in action.
3) If we say we’re having fun, we’re having fun, even though it might not look that way to you.
4) If we leave early, it’s not because we’re party poopers. We’re just pooped. Socializing takes a lot out of us.
5) If you want to hear what we have to say, give us time to say it. We don’t fight to be heard over other people. We just clam up.
6) We’re not lonely, we’re choosy. And we’re loyal to friends who don’t try to make us over into extroverts.
7) Anything but the telephone.
Seven things introverts should know about their extroverted friends:1) Extroverts don’t understand introversion unless someone explains it.
2) Extroverts who try to get you to loosen up usually aren’t doing it to annoy you. They mean well.
3) Extroverts produce a lot of words but quantity does not preclude quality. There’s often plenty of good stuff in there for those with the patience to listen.
4) Extroverts can teach us plenty about glad-handing and small talking. These are useful skills, whether or not you enjoy them.
5) Extroverts can’t read your mind and they’re not big on catching hints. Say what you want.
6) At parties, think of extroverted friends as a glider tow plane. They pull you in and get you started, but eventually you have to sail on your own.
7) Extroverts come in all different styles, just like introverts. Keep a lookout for extroverts with a quiet side, who make dandy friends.
The second list has a really strong “backhand compliment/disguised insult” feel to it.
I also don’t like it when introverts act like their energy is so precious and limited that ANY attempt to engage socially that is not specifically and pointedly directed at a specific termination to the encounter is a horrible imposition. That’s rude. It sends the message that no one else is as important to you as you are.
I’m perfectly capable, as an extrovert, to spend quiet time with you. And even willing. As long as you’re willing to meet me halfway and occasionally engage in a conversation that might not have a point other than, you know, understanding who you are (how a person engages in small talk says a lot about who they are).
Believe it or not, extroverts are not stupid arrogant jocks that hate silence and think that books are something to eat. Personally, however, I learn better and more fully in a social environment (i.e. traditional classrooms) than I do in an asocial one (i.e. online classes). In fact sometimes we need quiet introspective time, too (just less of it). We also do not use social contact to ignore our inner spiritual realities.
Stop acting like extroverts are monsters, or stupid. It makes you look like you only ever want social contact on your own terms and with the understanding that your own way to be social is the only legitimate way to be social.
My fanfic. Star Trek and Dragon Age. I am a selectively-latreic, omnitheist with a strong intellectual and spiritual interest in new and emerging pantheons and unusual syncretisms of old pantheons.
Rapidly turning into a mostly Dragon Age blog. Will be rarely NSFW. Sometimes fiction will be written.
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